If you are a TRUE www.TheSuperJabs.com fan, (and I’m SURE that you are), then you remember ExNavyMid’s blog about:
“WHY MEN DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED”
(parts 1&2, just to make sure we really got it)
It was quite informative!
Well fellas, your girl ~*KL is here to tell you exactly
“WHY WOMEN WANT TO GET MARRIED”.
I think that is it very important to discuss this issue from both sides so that we may all be heard. Understanding one another is part of the process.
First of all, as you know, We hunt Men like Zombies hunt Brains… only we walk around mumbling… HUSBAND… HUSBAND…
There are many reasons why.
The lawn ain’t gonna mow itself. And I’m sure as hell not gonna do it. All we have to do is bitch and moan for a few weeks and it gets done. SCORE!
Secondly, as much as we all have HUSBAND FEVER, we also have BABY FEVER… so we keep you guys around for that real life “BABY” experience…
You know, Crumbs all over the floor, puke on the floor, whining, and shitty underwear. It makes us feel wanted and like real life Mommies.
Who’s a Good Boy?
Now, somebody has to take out the Garbage; better you than us… It’s stinky and icky and it defiles our Lovely Feminine Aroma… not to mention our Manicures.
Everyone knows, a good vibrator can be a girl’s best friend…
But it can’t grab our ass or lick our nipples. It can’t pull our hair or make us bored. That’s where our HUSBAND comes in!
Air conditioners have to be installed, Pools have to be cleaned, and Cars have to be fixed.
So, we look for a HUSBAND who can do ALL of these menial labor jobs for us. It’s much cheaper than hiring someone.
Well now, who is going to buy us Tampons and Midol when we “don’t feel like it”? HUSBANDS of course!
One mention of Cramps, and you guys are half way out the door. WHEW! Finally, a day to ourselves.
There are even more added bonuses!!
When there’s a loud noise, or an intruder in the house, you are the first one off to grab the bat or a knife to save us…
…while we are climbing out the window, running down the street and safe!
HUSBANDS get to be slaughtered first…
…and, well, I like that.
OK!
Now who’s ready to get down on one knee?? Heh?? Any takers??
The weeds out back have grown to an enormous height and my “Clock” is really tickin’…
Tags: ExNavyMid, Married, Midol, Super JabsLike this post? Buy me a beer.
I have to admit, this is funny shit but any male species that reads this is going to run for cover. Any male in their right mind anyway. Fun blog though. Thanks, I needed it. Ps- I mow my own lawn, I can’t really trust a man to do it to my standards. Plus, it makes for a great beer drinking excuse.
Yea it was fun to write.
Totally a joke! OK… well maybe not the Murder part. I really want him to die first.
This was fantastic! Well done, thanks for the laugh!
Thanks, Anytime!
Got something to add?
Would be funny to see what the rest of you guys come up with =)
ROFLMAO!!!
I do so like your sense of humor!!!
If I could give you 1000 kudos, I would…..
thanks Frances! It’s just nice to see ya
Laughs are free here, especially at their expense… hehehe
So THAT’S why we do it! I have trouble remembering sometimes just why I got married…It was cause I didn’t want to take the trash out and mow the lawn! Thanks for reminding me!
Sure, sure… You know you should always remember in your heart and soul why he was for you
Sometimes the mind forgets things the heart and soul remember…anyway, loved this, it was hilarious!
WTF?! What kind of candy ass grabs a knife or a bat to confront an intruder?
Are you so Bad Ass you go hand to hand combat? hehehe
or push the bitch out the way to the door? LMAO!!
Hand to hand? What, do I look like fucking Jackie Chan? For that matter, do I look over five feet tall?
Model 36 Glock Compact in .45 with a Surefire tactical light and Trijicon night sights loaded with Federal Hydrashok. I shoot back.
OOOOOHHHHH
my
got me a little flustered there
Mine’s the last house on the block you’d want to break into.
Yea, now that they all know you packin heat!
heheh
=)
virgin
Funny! Somewhat true too!
Shhhhhh
It’s supposed to be a “joke”
Please, Kristy! Like I need to leg-shackle myself to get my lawn mowed! Pfft! All I have to do is wear cut-offs and a tank top, stand out in my 2 foot tall weeds with the mower, bend over it and pretend like I don’t know how to start the thing.
Like, eight guys come running over to help. It rocks! I bring them beer, they mow my lawn while I watch. Everybody’s happy!
Beautiful!
Gotta love a resourceful lady.
That’s what I do with a Flat Tire…
ha ha ha…!!!
That was funny.
thanks!
Good to be back and causing trouble
I never leave crumbs on the floor.
You have set yourself apart from the pack my friend
;)
we don’t mind doing all these things.
we just want to be worshipped for them somehow… and wild sex.
is that too much to ask??? seems like a good trade-off…
Nope! I’ll mow my own lawn if you want to stop by to be worshipped and have wild sex Coqueto!
hahahahaha!
Love it Barbara
Yes but that would mean such man would really have it all…
Like a Superman
So glad you explained all this with pictures and everything! Guys just tune out, so now we can point at the pretty pictures, and if we talk real slow, the lawn just might get mowed this week!
hehehe
that’s what a have a dry erase marker board for.
So Sad! The dry erase doen’t work in this house. unless I remember to change to change to color. He still ignores it.
Yea who am I fooling.
Mine doesn’t work either.
DAMN! LOL
“Honey, bring me another beer, while I answer this horseshit, would ya?” on her ass as she walks away. Mowing the lawn must be one of them euphemism things fer ridin’ the pony, or layin’ the pipe, right?
Hilarious stuff, KL. Thanks
Hehehe thats funny
But when youre a nice wife and bring the beer, later they just pass out and theres no time fer ridin’ the pony or layin’ the pipe, right?
MUA HAH!
loved reading it very funny. i liked the intruder part.
thanks, that part I really meant. Really really.
:)
Funny as hell and oh so true!
;)
You rock!
thanks for coming, tell your friends LOL
I want a husband who will mow the lawn AND treat me like a princess.
You deserve nothing less…
:*
You’re right. I deserve no less that that.
Just keep that in mind…
Good vibes, manifest your destiny
DAMN ……….. I didn’t know the husband was suppose to do to do all those things …….. boy no wonder why I’m tired all the time
It’s too late for you.
Please educate the others!!!!
;)
LOL At least I know better for next time around!!!
I’ll get on my knees as long as he’ll mow the lawn and take the trash out!
Umm Hell Yea!!!
If I am in a relationship, he is a worshipped spoiled man
OMG, that is SO great! HOWEVER… you could fall into a trap like I fell into- I was still doing it all once I got married. I was still doing the yard work, taking the trash out, going to the store for my own pads and midol and even pepto when my belly wasn’t feeling too hot. IF you are gonna get married for a man to do these things, shit, make sure he’ll actually do them before you spew out those nuptials.
Yea, I would be too embarassed to make him buy tampons!!! Hehehe
Ummm yea like I said to the fine lady above, it’s too late for you.
I’m sorry.
;)
Good blog LOL. I pretty much do all those things for myself, I like to call myself independent
. I have to admit though, it’d be nice to have a husband for those things hahaha.
Yea I’ve done it all too, I have lived like a cat with 9
hahaha I find this humorous. I think most men suck actually, except my husband…It took me forever to find a guy whos decent, doesnt do drugs, smoke, chase women or an ego the size of the GRAND CANYON. Guys need to realise its not about their body or size of the package, its about heart and manners. Real men do have feelings and real men dont leave their families to create new ones with fresher models. Im so tired of seeing senior citizens or guys over 40 dating young women…chances are they left a wife and 2 kids, why would they stay with you? I would never date guys with multiple families, if I found myself suddenly single, its insanity.
Hmmm interesting view
I like men, I’m a fan LOL
But it seems that they always have that one fatal flaw (or 2 or 3)
I don’t have all of the resources for being a husband except for the sex part anyway and doing modest chores, not mowing. But If I find my real mate I think I can make her as happy as possible.
that’s what really matters Robert!
all the rest is in good fun
I do believe you have nailed it right on the “head”. heehee. Wait, you mean my husband is suppose to be doing all the crap work? Well, shit………..
Yes, its better if they know how to nail stuff too
hehe *evil grin*
haha!
that twas great!!!
seriously wat an awesome blog!
finally a humorous blog!
everyones been realli serious in their blogs lately and to be honest we need more like this 1!!!
x
Yea myself included! TOO SERIOUS!!!!!!!
The craziness is what keeps me sane. But it also causes haters which then makes it full circle, oh how vicious!
ahh indeed!
soo true! tho!
but we all needed a blog like this!
well this is easily my favourite blog of the week! =D
That’s just the nicest thing Vicki
great! =D
im glad u like my opinion on ur blog!! =D
Doing all that doesn’t pose a problem. But you know what, If I’m going to be the proveder, handyman, protector and sacrificial lamb, then can you please “pretend” that I’m the one in charge…… IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK?
as long as you “pretend” to know what you’re doing…
then of course!
OMG Kristie…you are amazingly perceptive…and totally right, of course. Everything is great and what I had all planned out…but how do you get their lazy carcases off the sofa to do all this? I thought sex would do it, but alas…when you nail him while he’s on the couch, he still doesn’t have to get up to do anything..then he can stay right there and take a nap after. I need a better motivator plan…:)