THE WORST BLOW JOB IN HISTORY
It started off normally, as any other Blow Job would, as a Hand Job.
I was stroking him up and down, gripping and tugging in all of the right places, rubbing and massaging his balls. His breath was starting to shorten as the pleasure washed over his body.
Then I get the ol, “Can you kiss it a little?” question, so of course I proceed to the kiss, the tease… the lick, the suck, etc.
Well continuing on, soon things got sloppy. I felt an uneasy knot welling up in my stomach and a horrible choke tickling the back of my throat.
When in this position, all you can think to yourself is,
“Oh please do not let me lose this right now, calm down, hold it!”
Gag! I stopped and wiped him down.
I wasn’t about to give up now, so when he tried to stop, I insisted that I finish the job I came to do.
This is only the beginning of
THE WORST BLOW JOB IN HISTORY.
Minutes later, as he was again starting to reach his climatic peak…
Finally enjoying all that my juicy lips and soft tongue had to offer…
Feeling every hot and wet sensation…
I really choked.
Bad.
I threw up all over him like a ride on a roller coaster.
I heaved the contents of my stomach all over his dick and everywhere else.
He ran to the bathroom and took a shower; I got dressed and attempted to get rid of all the evidence.
I’m sure neither of us, however, can ever get rid of the memory. But, as all secrets do, eventually they come out to see the light of day.
This is never to be spoken of again.
Just remember, that once somewhere, someday, you heard the story of
THE WORST BLOW JOB IN HISTORY.
Let it die as legend.
Or do you know of another story?
Have something to share?
Let it out, like vomit…
I want to hear it.
Tag: BLOW JOBLike this post? Buy me a beer.
I can see where that would be pretty bad!! LOL
Have a good one!
yea it was, he came out of the bathroom and I asked him if he was gonna dump me LOL
ha he should be happy not all femail like giving head so you did a good job
got that right!
I like your thinkin!
Well what did he say? You can’t open a can of beans and not cook them, tell us!
he laughed and said why would I dump you for that? it was a mistake.
Ha! That was great!
no it wasn’t LOL!
but thank you!
That is totally gross…I love it…what did you eat that night? love you…..”J”
I have no clue!
I think it was a stomach flu though, because I wasn’t drinking.
That’s definetly bad i can’t even imagine
You don’t want to!
=D
yep, that is the worst blow job story i’ve ever heard
See, I told ya!!
Ive never been puked on during sex,LMAO
I have been covered in it, yuk, A drive home after drinking, my then g/f had mixed too much, I was literally carrying her and she barfed all all me, started laughing I dropped her on the lawn, she grabbed my leg to get back up, and puked all over me again
awww man poor thing!
hahah what a night…
Haven’t had a problem in the blow job department. I did however had a bad drunken night with sex…Had the urge to purge during and ran to the bathroom brush my teeth after didn’t tell the guy and got back on the horse so to speak…
thats classic!
you pulled it off!
I never would be able to, unless the guy was super boring in bed and I could just lay there and keep my stomach settled!
…but i do appreciate hearing it, and hope it never happens to me
a similar story a friend told me (it isn’t as bad in one way, worse in another, because there was some karma involved) about a time he was getting head from some girl and she didn’t want him to cum in her mouth. when he was ready he was supposed to tell her, but instead he shoved it into her throat and came. she puked on him.
he was still my friend after he told me this story, although i thought it was great she puked on him. more time proved that he pretty much was a douche bag, all around.
DOUCHEBAG deserved it!!!!
I would have stood up and spit the cum in his face!!!!!
(Just kidding…but my brain’s vengeance is strong! LOL)
Some guys like that too.
I didn’t wanna know that!
heheh
I really hope that this doesn’t happen to me the first time that I give a blow job…..oh the horror!!!
Don’t worry, that was my hundredth time or so…
(OK joking! Don’t worry about it darlin, when you do engage in that activity, just be with someone safe that you trust and you can learn with, alright!)
Practice on a bedpost a couple dozen times first.
you are so bad!
Oh what a wonderful laughing session this was! Good job!!! Well in passing on the story that is!
yea at least someone laughed!!
You know what, I didn’t even get Dumped either…
This is hilarious! That truly would be heinous, and yet, I would prefer to remember the part about a lovely Jersey Girl liking me enough to do such a thing…
I would block the other shit out and tell my therapist not to mention it
hahahaha
That was a LONG time ago!
;)
I’ve got all the skills now
one can only hope….
Yea I’m sure a lot more than ONE out there are hoping! LMAO!
Many eons ago, I was making out with a guy in the dark. I though I was just getting a runny nose, combined with the usual bodily fluids. As the action progressed, I began to realize something was, um, stickier than usual. Upon turning on the lights, we both realized simultaneously that I had gotten a volcanic nose bleed en media res. The bed, pillow, his body, it looked like Texas Chainsaw Massacre in there. I have never dressed as quickly in my life.
Oh my!!!! What a surprise that must have been!
made even worse by the fact that we were in college classes together, so I couldn’t just not call him and pretend it never happened.
I wonder if he ever got the stains out of his sheets… Something to remember me by
Yea they probably ended up in the trash…
They usually keep your panties to remember you by HAHAH!
I am NOT letting you give me a blow job. Ever.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
I’m the BEST now, I swear! hehehehehe =D
You better keep that ass covered at all times when Kristie is around you in a month.
oh puhlease! she is gonna be all over me, I’ll be fighting her off
;)
soooooo, did he finish at all, I mean after the shower he’s spiffy clean and good to go, right? did the relationship still have the same ’spark’ after that?
(and I can’t believe you left yourself kudos after firsting your own blog, dork)
but it feels so goooooooooood! LOL
Yea, no after that the mood was DEADER than Anna Nicole
but surprisingly, he didn’t dump me.
actually the kudos were from Clark because he was fast like lightning and put a comment in. Its been deleted, I know its bad!
I never gagged that bad, but one night I was feeling froggy and my period came on, but I didn’t know it. We getting all hot and heavy in the dark and Ole boy was like. You are wet as hell. After we did the do…he got up and went to the bathroom and i was laying there basking in afterglow and he was like OH SHIT!. I popped up what…looked down…yea everywhere. I WAS SO EMBARASSED. I couldn’t even face him again. He called I didn’t answer.
OH MY!!!!!!
that is UBER embarrassing! WOW
Grrrrrrrrrr I fucking hate that. Don’t you fucking women keep track of that shit. That has happened a couple times to me and I end up looking like a Cherokee Indian. Unfortunately I now know the smell and taste and have learned to avoid before bad things happen again.
ugh you tasted it? yuck!
LMAO!
LMFAO @ “Cherokee Indian!”
actually, that never happened to me by accident like her, but you know a chicks body is not set like a fucking timer, it goes off when it does!
I don’t know why so many women insist to do it in the dark. If you do it with the lights on, you get to enjoy seeing the other person’s body, her face when she is getting the pleasure, and any blood (or poop, or vomit)if accidents happen.
Any way, blood, vomit, poop, or whatever, if it happens, it is only because she was doing something special for me (or you), so I respond to such accidents by cuddling her and thanking her for having continued trying to the end.
Any way, girls, let the boys keep the lights on and you won’t bleed on their faces again. Yet, can any one explain why any person would to have sex with the lights off? What is romantic about not seeing a great pair of Tts?
HELL YEA! I agree.
I don’t mind doing it in the light, as a matter of fact when it comes to giving head I’d rather he be able to see me, that way I can play with his eyes too and really get him going
Did that really happen to you? I am sooo sorry if it did. I have almost done that a million times but luckily it has never happened.
Yep back in 03…
oh the HORROR!!!!!!!
Don’t we all have something along these lines happen to us? well maybe it’s just me.
maybe…
I didn’t see you write your story!
Get on it woman!
I can only say this, shots of tequilla, Soco, and Jack doesn’t end well when you try and it end the night with a blowjob. ALL that alcohol doesn’t stay down when you shove a dick down your throat. But I made it all better then next time.
HELL NO, that does not mix LOL!
the worst I did was shots of Tequila, Soco and Ojs, some beer, and then I had a shot of RED DEATH.
THAT SHIT sent me over the edge to Hurlstown!
Yeah now we know don’t give a blowjob after a night of insane drinking.
wait, I’m writing this down…
:)
LESSON LEARNED!!
similar..happened with the guy I married..we had been doing shots of anything and everything and we were getting into it and I had to stop and puke..then stop and puke..went on for some time..needless to say no one got any that night..hey, might have been a sign right there not to get married..haha
oh man… LOL
I can’t believe you guys kept trying hehe
=D
I had this happen to me one time. My girfriend and I had been together a while, and she wanted to see if she could deep throat me. Well she started and the deeper she took me, the more she gagged. She finally ended up throwing up, but she held it in her mouth, and went and spit it out. She cleaned herself up, cleaned me up, and then finished me. This time she didn’t gag.