I’m the winner!
I was the first one to make it to the finish line. There’s no Do-Overs either.

I’m the first born.

Yea I know, not all of you can say that you won the race.

I hear ya… laid back, not paying attention. Don’t worry about it. Hey, at least you made it here, right!? Nice effort.

So, being the first born means that statistically, we fucking rock. We get mushed over and get lots more attention.

We rule.

That is, until one of you suckers wakes up and decides to join us.

Now, the worst thing about you little jerks running through the finish line second or third, is that we had to wear these kinds of fucking shirts for at least a year.

As you can see, it’s not pretty. It totally takes away from the triumph that is the First Born.

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