As you know, because you already read the last blog… wait, we gotta wait on the readers that drag down the test score averages while they catch up… Alright, as you all NOW know, my introduction to the hard stuff came in the form of Trashy Cum-Guzzling Anal Whores VII. Everyone who has had any dealings whatsoever with hardcore porn magazines knows there’s a wealth of advertising in the, ahem, rear end of such publications, including a Wikipedia-deep listing of phone sex lines. In seventh grade, you have no conceptualization at all what a 1-900 number is, so you suffer no hesitation in disseminating these numbers to your friends and allaying their fears with such intellectually weighty lines of bullshit as, “Dude, 1-900 is just like 1-800. It’s FREE, man!”

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