I woke up to the sound of the phone ringing. I was still naked and my skin was still warm. I looked over and saw my husband was still sleeping soundly. I sat up and grabbed the top covers and noticed I was still very sore from last night. I quickly got out of bed to answer the phone.

“Hello” I whispered. “Hi it’s me”… my sister responded. “So tell me, how did it go? Are you two still mad at each other or are things okay?”

“Well”… I told her, “They’re more than okay. We were kissing and making up all night long!”

Funny thing is just hours earlier we had been arguing over the fact that my husband flushed our daughter’s dead pet goldfish in front her!

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We all have male friends or acquaintances that we evolve our lives around. And like most people these friends of ours sometimes have events happen to them that are somber. It could be a bad breakup, the loss of a loved one, a stolen car, the loss of a job, or the lack of sex for a long… very long time to name a few.

The majority of the time, these are men that under any other circumstance we wouldn’t even give them the time of day. If there is any attraction at all, it’s in the subtlelest of ways. But since here they are telling us about their misfortune we begin to feel sympathy like any normal woman would. And we begin wondering if there’s maybe something that we can give them that they may indeed want or that you think they want to help them feel much better.

What could that something be? Why our bodies of course!

I’m talking about offering up our whole bodies to them, to use in the hopes that somehow, for a little while, you help them forget their anguish or pain. That’s right… I’m talking about a Mercy Fuck!

Call it pity or sympathy sex if you prefer, regardless it’s giving sex to someone as a handout and in doing so we know there’s a high chance that the event may never, ever be repeated so with that we lowered our inhibitions, our standards, our reasoning and gave ourselves up as a sacrificial lamb for the night!

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes these selfless acts are based on women secretly harboring feelings of intense attraction for a particular guy. And when she feels he’s needing her and the moment binds them, she jumps right in to take advantage of an otherwise unlikely situation.  I mean, might as well have two people benefit from an all out throw down after all right? But we do know that most often than not, it’s not this kind of situation that brings on that “I feel sorry for you” feeling.

Here’s the thing. Some men manipulate women into feeling sympathy for them on purpose because that’s their game and some stumble on it by accident (JA-JA-JA-JACKPOT!!!) However, I do know many women, at one time or another, has either considered a mercy fuck or has been a provider of one at some point in her life. At the very least we most certainly know of someone who has participated in this antiquated yet very modern ritual. So this got me thinking. Why do some women breakdown and give it up and why do some just hand the man a Kleenex and call it a day? Perhaps these reasons may sway your answer before we discuss a good Mercy Fuck!

Here are the popular reasons:

Mercy Fuck 101 – The poor bastard seems to have a lot going for him, but he just can’t rock the ladies horizontally!!! Ahhh… we figure. Let me teach him a trick or two that’ll surely have them lining up at his bedroom door the next time he steps out of his house!!!
The Mourner – This guy just endured a terrible loss of a loved one, suffered a serious breakup, or just got news that his accountant has been stealing his money all along!!! Wow! Here you don’t waste anytime. The inner nurturer in you immediately buries his head in you bosom and says, “There, there… Everything will be alright I promise.” Inevitably once the breasts are involved in the condolences, one thing will surely lead to another!!!

The Loser – This guy doesn’t ever stand a chance with the ladies! He’s thirty something (sometimes younger) somewhat decent looking guy, jobless. Still lives in his mother’s basement, has no future plans, and you know all his juices are so build up he’s going to pop any second!!! His only friend is his latest copy of Penthouse. If you do this guy, you’d be his Angel Personified!!!

The Wannabe Player – This sick fuck wants to be a player, but he just can’t match a true Player’s game. So what does he do? He combines any of the reason’s I’ve mentioned before and uses them to elicit the sympathy from us ladies that would most likely lead to a Disaster Mercy Fuck!!! This guy is dangerous because he’s hard to resist. Only a master of her feelings can walk away from this one and say “Check Mate!” In the morning, you realize it’s all a joke when you ask; shouldn’t you be calling your family to let them know your house burned down and you were left with nothing but the shirt on your back? To which he replies… “What fire???”…

Okay, I’m sure these reasons just got you thinking and I’m sure there are a few not so popular reasons that men or women think constitute a Mercy Fuck. Let me know what you think they are!!! Let me know if you’ve ever danced the Mercy Mambo and with whom. I want to know what you really think about the Mercy Fuck and if it’s really a necessary act!!!

XOXO

Pura

While trying on her wedding dress in a bridal store dressing room, I recently overheard a client of mine tell her maid-of-honor that she would never ever give her fiancé a blowjob!… Not even when they eventually marry!!! The idea of doing IT, she said, repulsed her to no end!!!

Upon hearing this, I spilled my Starbuck’s coffee and thought…”Dear Lord…They still make your type and model?” I thought these types of women went out of style with hair-sprayed, big hair and shoulder pads way back when!!!

But then reality kicked in and I thought, “Poor guy!” If he knows this and his intentions are to change her mind, it’s going to take quite some time to change if there’s even a remote chance in hell that he can! And even if he ever did… he still will have to get her to like it… a lot… if he wants it to feel as good as any red-blooded normal man would want it to feel like!!! That’s a big task and chance to take on wouldn’t you say?

If you ask me, oral interest should be a prerequisite for entering a relationship! Sort of like… Do you like me? Check. Do you want to fuck me? Check. Do you like giving blowjobs? Double and Triple check!!! If not… get the Fuck out!!!

First I’d like to say that women who won’t give their man a blowjob and have no medical (mental included) reason as an excuse; need to go live in those states that illegalize oral sex! At least then, they can blame the government for their reservation! They can even find mates, like themselves, that just refuse to give their tongue a gratifying swirl and whirl in the name of sexual pleasure!

You may be wondering why I feel this way especially being a woman. As if I should feel compassion toward this kind of female counterpart. But I don’t because I tend to find that woman with a lot of sexual rules are often very pretentious and judgmental toward those that don’t have any, withhold performing certain acts on their partner as a punishment or to gain control, or are very selfish lovers. So I know two wrongs don’t make a right… but at least my wrong makes my man feel VERY RIGHT!

To those ladies who just can’t fathom it, Come on!… There are so many ways to do it! You can just use your mouth or you can mix it up with your hands while basket-weaving or suctioning his head. You can teabag, massage, even slightly tug his balls or just let them be. You can suck and take it deep into your throat, or you can stimulate it with your tongue, flickering and wrapping it around him as you slide your mouth up and down. And with a list of techniques that seem endless, surely there’s a style that can suit and help every woman in embracing this great sexual pass time!!!

It’s not very difficult to build skill. Men aren’t even that choosy about their blowjobs! They’ll take it almost any way you’re willing to give it to them. Any meaning giving it to them one of two ways: Either by finishing the job using a catalyst (vagina, hand, breast, neck, armpit, bend of your leg/arm… you get the idea!) Or completely giving them the pleasure of cuming in your mouth. But contrary to popular belief… a few licks then stopping to stick it inside you does not a mind blowing blowjob make! That’s just plain wrong… Cheater!!! I’m sure you wouldn’t like it if your partner were to do that to you. Right? So put in the same effort you expect him to put into you… tongue or penis literally!

I’m tired of overhearing many, many, many good men complain that their partners just don’t do it or lack serious enthusiasm in doing it right! And please don’t get me started on the number one complaint of them all: “She does it but once or twice a year!”… aka: On special occasions!!! What the fuck is that about? I just don’t get it! I personally never want to know that my man complains or tells others what my sexual issues are. Or worse yet to imply I’m not satisfying him! I just can’t or refuse to understand how women are okay with having their partners feel this way.

I wonder what it’s going to take. I believe we need to give these women a mental handicap ramp that gives their mouths access to their partner’s smaller heads so that perhaps they can begin to venture toward the unknown with a little support and hopefully get over the phenomenon of being orally challenged!

XOXO,

Pura

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Discussion of the Day

Let’s get better ladies! Spill on the great techniques and dish on the bad one’s! What works and doesn’t work for your man?
What do you like most or least about giving a blow-job? Are you a blow job hater?

Men… be forthright. We can take it! And tell us about your horror stories while you’re at it!

There are two types of women in the world. Those that go after what they want out of life and those that get what they want handed to them.

~*~

You all know her. She’s beautiful, charismatic, sexy, flirtatious and definitely beguiling. Some are very polished and elegant and some are only by fascade. You probably pay attention to what she looks like more than what she has to say even if some are very educated. She knows damn well how to go about her business to get the best results…

…She’s always in the company of only the richest men. She’s the one… the only… Gold Digger.

This gal makes damn sure that her man’s wallet is bottomless and credit is limitless. She has a certain high class lifestyle that she intends to uphold… but not by any means of her own. She also won’t allow herself to be seen with just any Joe Smoe. Her man has got to have connections, a prestigious career, be known, is famous, or is powerful and of course… FILTHY RICH!

But what amazes me about this very special kind of woman is that she almost always tries to convince people that she really loves her partner. Why the hell is that? And who exactly is she trying to fool? Her man? What for?

It’s simple really. I suppose she doesn’t want him to feel like a complete idiot and besides, with all the iron clad prenuptial agreements these days, he better think she loves him more than his money if she hopes to dip into his fortune once he’s out of the picture.

Is it wrong? Of course it is. Should it be stopped? Well, that question is harder to answer because the proverbial question does exist… Should you marry for money or convenience or should you marry for true love? So obviously the choice is there to be made.

This type of woman has simply made her choice the same way many of us have made ours. And to be perfectly honest, she exhibits less regrets about her choice than the average woman which makes you wonder if money really can buy you happiness doesn’t it?

So what do you really think about the gold digger?

What about those who divorce over money issues… do you think they’d marry for money if they had to do it all over again?

Have you ever dated someone (yes, you men too) for their money or social standing pursuing that fairytale type of dream?

C’mon, let’s talk about it shall we…

Money or Love?

Over dinner with some friends on Saturday night, a friend blurted out “Last week I finally got together with this guy I’ve been lusting after for a month! He stayed over the entire night!!! We were both completely trashed!”

“Oooo”… said my other friend… “How hot was the sex?”

“It was the best sex I’ve had in a long, long time!” “Here. Let me show you a picture of him!”

My friend went in her purse and pulled out her digital camera. She proceeded to show us pictures of this guy during their date. I immediately saw a few things that raised a red-flag.

I noticed that they and some of their friends were so wasted that every picture was out of focus! In one she looked like she was about to pass out at the bar and he looked like he was being held up by a friend! In another they were kissing… well… somewhat! It looked like they tried to, but it seemed as though they missed each other’s mouths… by a long shot!

I asked her, “If you were so wasted, and can’t remember details from your get together last week… How are you so sure the sex that followed really rocked? According to you it was amazing. But you were drunk… so how do you know for sure?”

How does anyone who’s ever gotten wasted and said the sex was great really know that it was in fact a mind blowing experience? How do you know he didn’t come in 2 minutes or didn’t even get that hard to begin with? How do you know that you didn’t have a little quiver rather than a full out orgasm? How does anyone who has drunken sex know that all that great sex is not just in their minds?

Okay now… here we go I thought. I was berated with the barage of affirmations that the sex was in fact good. That she remembered that it was. She was positive!!!

So then I pondered some more… If she could recall that part of the night well, then do all the people who have sex while drunk remember their experiences just as well?

Think about it for a minute. If the sex sobers you up enough to enjoy a naughty romp, then doesn’t that mean that all those people who cheat on their significant others and blame their mistake on alcohol are lying? What about those that claim they can’t remember a thing? “It just happened!!!” Yeah… okay. If you say so but I’m not so sure I’m really convinced by that argument anymore.

I can understand if your inhibitions are lowered but that’s just temptation at its finest. You can say that you were in the moment when you started “coming” around… literally… but if that’s the case, you wouldn’t have been performing to the point where lovers are claiming you were a fantastic lay!!! At best they’d only be able to say… It was the best it could be considering he was seeing two of me and was making it with my imaginary self most of the night!!!

See what I mean?

So what does all this mean? I don’t know really. Except I’m a lightweight drinker and already had one drink too many so I suppose while under the influence, I was feeling a little philosophic!!!

Either way, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade! You never know, perhaps there is some logic to the great drunken sex memory. If I can be this creative tipsy… Imagine what I’d be able to accomplish, drunk, with my husband in front of me!!! Mmmmm… the possibilities are endless and there’s only one way to find out if my theory is true or not!!! I’ll catch all you sexy readers later!!!

XOXO

Pura

*THE DISCUSSION IS OPEN*

It happens to the best of us. We’re walking along a crowded street, some even confidently I must add, when luck would have it we take a stumble!!!

What the hell just happened? You ask yourself quickly! But you know exactly what happened. Your stride, your concentration, your control has just been crudely interrupted!!!

No big deal right? Except while you’re still bracing yourself you notice a few onlookers on the other side of the street. There’s no concern on their faces of this you’re sure. Nope… definitely not! What you are seeing is more like UTTER AMUSEMENT! That’s right… to them there was nothing more funny happening in the world than the possibility of you falling flat on your face or you twisting your body better than a contortionist from Cirque du Soleil to keep yourself grounded!

Now… Have you ever found yourself on the side of the onlookers who are laughing? I most certainly have! I’m not an evil person… not by a long shot! So as long as I’m sure no one is going to get hurt, sometimes I just can’t help but to chuckle!

But why is that? Why do most of us crack up? Why is it so amusing to us to see others fall from grace?

Let’s take it a step further than the incident I’ve described. We know there are many out there in the world who live there days searching until they witness someone they know take a mighty fall. It could be a co worker they’re jealous of who loses there job or a girl, who they really don’t like, who’s boyfriend cheated on her. Smirking and devilishly laughing, inside, is this person who all the while is comforting his or her supposed friend!

It all sounds very mean… because it blatantly is! However to a point, I think we can all understand where the distorted notion comes from even if we’re nothing like that.

Some people, when witnessing a fall from grace, feel a certain comfort in knowing that they aren’t the only ones with problems in the world. That those who seem perfect to them really aren’t and have life issues and failures like the rest of us.

Take for instance a lovely Super Model. She’s supposed to be the quintessential example of what perfection is for women. Women sometimes stop at nothing to try to emulate this perfect being. We style our hair, we walk and act a certain way, we buy certain types of clothes… you get the idea. And all for what? To try to be just like a person we know is far from perfect?

The models themselves will say when interviewed that she’s been in and out of rehab, that she struggles with her weight, that her love life seems perpetually in ruins! Only a lucky few really are perfect in the sense that they’re living their lives with the same joy and satisfaction as some of us normal folk do.

Yet… to us… because she’s thwarted into the limelight with the thought conception that women should be just like her, we in turn, sometimes, just sometimes, giggle when she takes a stumble. And that’s okay… so as long as it’s just a tiny fall from grace and no one really is getting hurt. Remember that.

(Now… watch the video!!! Pretty please with sugar on top!)

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