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Nobody enjoys being lied to.  It is not exactly a secret that lies cause hurt feelings and destroy trust, but let’s for a moment think of the even greater damage that your lies inflict.

We women have to constantly rely on our gut to warn us of danger.  When we find out that we got no warning that you were lying to us… that you were dangerous to our heart, it is like a little chip in our armor.  Your lie may not be the first or even the biggest (    ) we’ve experienced but every single lie destroys little by little our ability to trust.  We slowly stop trusting others or even hearing our own gut.

My father once told me something that I will never forget.  When I asked him why he and mom don’t ever have loud arguments, he said that they wait until they’ve both cooled down before discussing a difference of opinion that may cause an argument.  They don’t want to say hurtful things in the heat of the moment that they may later regret.

“You may forgive someone for hurting you, but you will never forget.”

This is even more true with lies.  I can’t even count the number of lies that men have told me over the years… but I remember them all.  I try not to let one man’s lies affect how I am with a different man but I’m human.  I’ve learned things from every man I’ve been involved with.  A lot of those things are good and have helped me to grow.  All of those good things, however, are overshadowed by the one thing the men all have in common… the lies.  I used to drive myself crazy trying to figure out what makes them lie… trying to show them they don’t need to lie to me. 

I finally gave up.

It’s useless.  The only thing that helped me do is be able to predict when he/they were going to lie to me again and about what.  That’s helpful up until I get rocked by a new and even more devestating lie I didn’t see coming.

Later I jokingly came up with the one reason that explains all of it so that I could stop wasting my time stressing over why.  Men are FUCKED.  It’s a fact.  Even joking about it can’t stop the more insidious truth from settling in.  This is the one thing my subconscious has been trying to convince me for a long time.  This idea really hurts my optimism… damages my hope for good things.  This has really tried to drag me into a depression that even happy pills can’t cope with.

I cannot trust men. 

There, I said it.  I have lost the ability to trust anyone with a Y chromosome.  I feel sorry for any man that wants the chance to date me.  I can be very hostile when I think I’m being lied to and I am quick to run away when I think I may be hurt.  Wow, this is a downer.  Let’s change to the more general message I was looking to convey, shall we?

Men, you all have mothers… sisters, aunts, grandmothers, or female friends you care about.  Some of you even have daughters you would like to protect.  You would not like for the women in your life to be hurt.  Think about this.  Everytime you lie even about little things, you cause a woman to stop trusting you.  Everytime you lie, you contribute to a woman’s doubt that you even care about her.  Everytime you lie, you push a woman that much closer to giving up.  With each lie, you create a woman who is cold… untrusting… unfeeling… who refuses to let her guard down.  With each lie you create a woman who feels the need to run background checks on anyone she considers dating… who pushes away anyone who might be able to hurt her if she lets herself care. 

With each lie, you create a woman no man can get to… a woman no man can truly know…